poor neglected blog.

I haven't really been in the mood to blog which is why there hasn't been an entry in over a month.  Last month was a very tough month for me emotionally.  Our 2 year mark of TTC was right around the corner (Jan) and it was the holidays and my birthday and it was just that much more depressing that we still didn't have our baby yet.  Before we started TTC I was someone who always planned out everything.  If I went on vacation I'd have a notebook with what outfit I was wearing on each day including my accessories, shoes and hair do! Let me tell you I have learned through TTC you can not plan everything.  Some things you just have no control over and that is very hard for me. Being the Polly planner that I was, when we started TTC I told everyone "It's perfect because I just turned 24 which is a good age & we'll have been married 5 years when they're born..perfect! done and done ;-)."  Low and behold I just turned 26 and this year we'll be married for 7.  It was just too much to handle last month.  I was an emotional roller coaster.  My poor husband didn't know which one of me he was going to get each morning.  The cheerful personality who sings silly songs in bed along with a wacky dance or the 'woe is me' wicked depressed personality where they didn't care about a single thing in life.  Sad to say most of December he got the depressed side of me.  He completely understood what I was going through but I'm sure it was hard for him to deal with a sad sack.  Oh did I mention his parents we're in town? lol. I was probably a horrible host because I was so down and out.  They were trying to plan activities and I just had the attitude of 'whatever you guys want to do, I'm down.'  I am much better this month.  Now that we're at the 2 year mark there's nothing to do but look forward.  Now if we get to 3 years that's another story! You might see me on the news jumping off a building. kidding!..bad joke I know.  I just had my pre op yesterday with the RE. Everything is set for surgery on Monday the 17th.  I'm getting a laparoscopy to unblock my tube.  I'm praying it's just a simple procedure and an easy fix and he doesn't find anything that would make IVF our only option.  He mentioned that's a possibility and I'm just praying it's not.  He also mentioned if he goes in there and my tube is just so severely scarred he'll have to remove it because it will be harmful to IVF.  It's very emotional being in the dark.  Who knows what he'll find?  Again with the not being able to plan things.  I have no control of what going on with my tubes but I am praying that God doesn't put us through anymore tests.  I pray that this is finally our time and he gives us our little baby that we've been longing for. 

On a brighter note, my MIL (mother in law) got me this awesome Wilton cake decorating kit and paid for my cake decorating course for Christmas.  I just started last Friday and I'm going again tonight.  I will post pictures of my cake.  Last week we just decorated cookies and it wasn't anything to 'oooo and aaaaahhh' over so no pictures we're taken.  But I'm hoping my cake tonight will be a success and we can 'Oooo and aaaaahh" over it! :) Happy Friday!!